a 3-step guide: Building our best Boundaries
Brandi Wilson is a licensed professional counselor in Missouri & North Carolina. Brandi works with women seeking support with trauma, perfectionism, family dysfunction, and anxiety.
wRITTEN by brandi wilson
a licensed professional counselor
“Assume that people know only what you tell them, honor only what you request, and can't read your mind.”
― Nedra Glover Tawwab, Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself
About the therapist
A boundary is a limit or guideline that we establish in the relationships with others and with ourselves.
Essentially, it's a way to communicate to others what we can and cannot accept. Many of us struggle with setting boundaries because of the fear that it might lead to conflict in our relationships. However, boundaries are an important way for us to take care of ourselves so that we can maintain our mental well-being.
A 3 STEP GUIDE TO BOUNDARY SETTING
1.
2.
3.
Identify your yes's and your no's in relationships. Know what you might be comfortable with and what you are not comfortable with based off of your emotion. Make a list if needed.
Communicate what action you will take to honor your yes's and no's. No action = no boundary.
Maintain and remind others of your boundary if it is forgotten or ignored.
say what you mean
mean what you say
don't say it mean
boundary examples
"I will no longer be lending out money outside of my budget. If I am asked to, I will politely ignore your request."
"I will be unable to stay late for work without proper notice or compensation. If asked, I will need to discuss compensation or flexed time"
"I am only able to talk for 10 minutes, after that I will need to schedule a better time to catch up."
